Who Up
Jerkin'
They Discs?
Apparel for the everyday amateur. We count a +14 as a solid effort, throw nine times a hole, and blame the plastic every single time. Printed to order, because nobody here is buying a warehouse.
Boys, Brews, & Baskets
Wear the shame
Official rules of the Disc Jerkers
The Ace Policy
Aces on holes shorter than 200 feet do not count. Unless you stepped four feet behind the tee pad to make it 201.
Putting Etiquette
If an opponent takes longer than 45 seconds to prepare a putt, you are legally permitted to finish an entire nine-hole round while they prep.
Grip Lock Rights
Grip lock is universally acknowledged as the worst part of disc golf. It beats ankle bee stings, lost cicadas, and the porta-potties at Memorial.
Equipment Justification
Any missed seven-foot putt is 100% the fault of the plastic, requiring the immediate purchase of four new versatility putters.
The 9-Hole Clause
Nine-hole wins are not recognized. A win is only recorded after eighteen holes of suffering.
E-Commerce Integrity
The official store must collect your card, crash at checkout, and ship the order anyway without ever emailing you. We have regrettably fixed this. Stripe sends a receipt now. We are sorry.
The Bag Strike Exemption
A disc that comes to rest by rolling into your own bag is not out of bounds, not a penalty stroke, and not grounds for a rules debate. The bag was left in play. It assumed the risk.
The Marebear Mando
Every player in the group must, at least once per round, throw a disc between Marebear's legs. This is a live mando. Miss the gap and you're re-teeing, no matter how good a girl she was about it.
Lexicon
Any throw made after a terrible first drive that actually goes where intended. "Not an ace, but a solid Player B ace."
Fuel carried directly on the course in a bag, during back-to-back rounds. No further questions.
Any successful throw made by an opponent, which must be immediately questioned and undermined.
A measure of stability and form over pure length. Girthy. Unbothered.
The tree standing four feet directly in front of the tee pad that absorbs 80% of all forehands.
Home courses
Where the rounds happen, the discs disappear into impenetrable brush, and somebody insists the wind did that.
Everything in the store is printed when you order it. That means no garage full of unsold 2XLs, and it means your order takes a few days longer than a warehouse would. Worth it.